Playing blind folded in the knife drawer

It's never easy to face your demons, especially if they live with you. I sleep alone every night, wishing for a better tomorrow. I have a man that loves me deeply, we should have been together for the past NINE years, but because I have compassion & would have immense guilt if I left a dying man in his worst of times. That is what alcoholics do, they manipulate you. They use anger, degradation, & harsh words.  They don't speak to you, every thing that goes wrong is your fault. They take NO blame. I have my divorce papers ready to be filed...what is stopping me? That last BIG fight,,you know the one..but I am gathering energy, enough to stand up for myself. The knife drawer has not been kind as of late. I am on my way out....